You know, the movie Cast Away comes to mind.... the main character Chuck Nolan unexpectantly ends up on a desserted island. After many tries of getting off the island, he realizes that this IS his life!
Then, one day... the wind brings him the 1/2 shell of a portable bathroom. He realizes that he can use this as a sail and get over the reef that had caused abandonment of all previous attempts off the island....
Well, today, life brought me 1/2 shell of a portable bathroom!
Like Chuck, the simple things that I took for grantid... I really appreciate now.
When I moved to Vietnam, my cycling life felt lonely and like I was on a desserted island. Over the months, I came to accept this. Like Chuck, no choice.... you just have to make the most of what you have. Cyclign in a group as the rest of the world knows it does NOT exist here for me! There's the mad dash... scarey ride that I have written endlessly about... and there's me... alone... riding... and that's what the majority of my cycling life has been.
Alex has been a good friend. His ability is so much higher then mine, so when we join scarey ride, he leads the crazy pack, eventually I fall out and that's kinda it... I don't join for coffee very often. Typically, I am trying to get home to get the kids off to school, or if it is a Saturday, I want triple digits and not willing to give up my time on the bike for coffee.
Cycling is not a social activity for me at all. It has taken pure determination and a tough mind to stay on my bike! I have difused a LOT of crashes...gotten brushed by stuff on motorcycles, and if I got upset everytime some one made a lude gesture to me... I'd never stop crying.
I train so I can race.
Racing is NOT what it was for me in Taiwan. Now, racing are oraginzed really cool rides. It is rediculous to think I can acheive the results of Taiwan elsewhere when the training is as sucky as it is... but I go to the race to have an amazing ride (FAST - 36kph over 94km when ANZA controlled the peloton... a bit more then a ride), but it's okay.
I have adapted.
I have accepted my environment.
Like Chuck, my change in situation was 100% completely out of my control. Of course, I could leave my husband and move back to the US, but cycling doesn't define me, my family does. We were given and ultimatum... vietnam or unemployment... of course, I asked abuot the severence package. and then.... guess what... you gotta go in 5 weeks.
blah, blah, blah,... if you kept up with my other blog: www.wretch.cc/blog/bikermom you read it all to tears...
FINALLY, a new woman moved in the neighborhood! FINALLY. She rides a bike.... fast! She's a very seasoned cyclist who used to ride... She can hold her own with the boys.
I waited 14 months....
We went to the Industrial Park yesterday and I was talking 1000 words per second. I told her, "Talking, English, Woman, Cycling"... do you know the last time I used those four words in a sentence, "I am speaking English with a woman on a bike!"???? Well, in Thailand.. yes...
today, we tried to hook up, but things got all jumbled up, but eventually we finished the last 15km together. I invited her over... Gj was so thrilled I have a girlfriend on a bike!
anyhow... like Chuck, I feel unexpectantly, something has come my way that will get me out of this 'acceptable' situation!
It's good.
I am happy.
7 comments:
It looks like your half bathroom and you found each other. I am still waiting for my half bathroom. I hope it's not gonna take me 14 months. As it is now, 2 months is already taking bits and bits off me. Happy for you, Tina!
WHAT???? You live in the Home Depot Bath Department!!! You have: Green Oil, e-Ma, Thursday Friends, Neko, T-Mosaic, and Kelidoscope...not to mention hills, rolling roads, long rides... when they connected the bridge to the Nguyen Van Linh, I thought Christams came twice because our 30km loop became 42km! I still don't have a dynamic group ride yet... but working on it... hang in there... you'll adjust, but it IS all there for you (except Tim and Trevor - but you got the language, your mom, brother... and already many friends when you moved there) By the way, you look really skinny... have you lost a LOT of weight? I have gained, but its part of my new unsolved 'problem'...
Oh yeah.... poor Rachel! She had group structured rides with a support vehicle for over 10 years... I just hope when the culture shock hits, she's got a gooooooood support system! I'll definitely be there for her... I think after only 1 week, she is getting how sucky it really is here!
If you read my latest blog entry, you'd understand on how your theories of all the guys to be riding with don't apply. You changed the subject a bit too obviously on the weight losing line (lol). But, nope! I would be lucky if I didn't gain weight.
Well, you still look GREAT! Sorry to hear about all the lip service... Yeah, I read it last night and really felt bad for you! I am sooo sorry! Mean people just plain suck!
But, it is also very familiar. I remember crying my eyes out as well when my team left me and I got lost. Getting details was the worst... I too.... sooo fat, "tina you should loose 5kg on your legs and bottom"... yeah... like I have control! ha ha ha... Some guys are just plain jerks... many loney nights in hotel rooms... but my favorite is when my mistakes were pointed out... like, I didn't know... 'really?'... Keep your chin up! You ARE a thriver... not just a survivor, I believe in you and so do many, many others! You gotta remember, many haven't left their home town for their entire lives, change is hard, they can't imagine for themselves and they don't understand it in others. You have lived all over the world. Also, just remember they don't understand how hurtful their questions/remarks are.
Finally, many are just plain intimidated of you! Trust me.... I am, if I ever make it back to Taiwan, you will totally kick my (FAT - but strong) @$$!
(Finally, I just started saying, "Yeah, I know I am fat, but its all muscle!")
hee hee hee.... my favorite is, "why don't you just stay with the group?"... "oh... jeepers... I didn't even think of that! thanks!"
Prove 'em all wrong Viginia!
Thanks Tina! I know you never let me down. After all, we are friends as long as I have been on my bike. I was just thinking about ducking out of YangMingShan race this Sat. I really don't feel like going away and leaving Sean behind for the entire Saturday for a silly race. I don't know anything about kicking @$$ anymore. I think things have changed a lot for me- don't know why though. However, other than being hurt by people's intentional or unintentional silly comments, I feel fine with the changes. Keep up your good work, as always, Tina Bell!
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