wish I was..... Homeward Bound....
Home, where my thought escaping
Home, where my music playing
Home...
I have alluded several times, its been a tough year... I know I can be the queen of drama...make mountains out of molehills, but the year brought me to my knees, and rattled my core. Never before have I ever questioned my inner strength to deal with any situation. Even in times of hurt, anger, frustration... I am one of my strongest rocks. I get that from my grandmother! I get her... I understand. I am tough, I am strong, I have a lot of self confidence, and I am a rock.
But this year... for reasons I won't write about... it sucked. I am glad it is over... I am glad to be going home.
I love my kids more than life itself... its been a tough year for them.
We had the death of our Head of School.
We had a PTA with a very, VERY thin board. And... I took the brunt of it. When no one was around (and that was pretty much the last 4 months) it came down on me...
Thank GOD for my bike.
I remember having a conversation with a cyclist and his wife said, "What are you training for", his reply was, "It keeps me from being angry". I didn't get it.
Now I do.
I ride very hard now.... I probably ride better, faster, and stronger then any time in my life. Even after arriving home, I feel the need to go out again.
Riding has been my salvation. I have tears and sweat on those rides...
The doctor told me to get counseling to let out all the 'stuff', and that the cycling isn't the way to go... well... I disagree! ha! In Bintan, I could absolutely care less about the race... my heart was with my son who was really struggling.... In Thailand, things were finally pulling together and I enjoyed the racing and felt I could exhale a bit again.
I have lost a solid 10 pounds, weighing in at no more the 125, ..luckily, no longer borderline anemic, and recovered my strength from an 8 month period (no exaggeration, I was exhausted)....
Now that school is almost out (2 days) and I have let PTA go, I have had a chance to 'feel' the year... and its all coming out....tears... frustration.. adn I even let someone 'have it' (but she deserved it!)
Life isn't all peaches and cream... and my blog posts don't have to pretend they are. The truth is, during our journeys in life..... things go really right and things go not so smooth. I am grateful for what I have, the good and the bad, I know my situations and it is very easy to look around and NOT FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF, that isn't my intention... but it doesn't mean that certain things don't hurt.
Off to India... looking forward to some culture...heat... and escape!
Don't know how I will survive w/out my bike though!
Home, where my thought escaping
Home, where my music playing
Home...
I have alluded several times, its been a tough year... I know I can be the queen of drama...make mountains out of molehills, but the year brought me to my knees, and rattled my core. Never before have I ever questioned my inner strength to deal with any situation. Even in times of hurt, anger, frustration... I am one of my strongest rocks. I get that from my grandmother! I get her... I understand. I am tough, I am strong, I have a lot of self confidence, and I am a rock.
But this year... for reasons I won't write about... it sucked. I am glad it is over... I am glad to be going home.
I love my kids more than life itself... its been a tough year for them.
We had the death of our Head of School.
We had a PTA with a very, VERY thin board. And... I took the brunt of it. When no one was around (and that was pretty much the last 4 months) it came down on me...
Thank GOD for my bike.
I remember having a conversation with a cyclist and his wife said, "What are you training for", his reply was, "It keeps me from being angry". I didn't get it.
Now I do.
I ride very hard now.... I probably ride better, faster, and stronger then any time in my life. Even after arriving home, I feel the need to go out again.
Riding has been my salvation. I have tears and sweat on those rides...
The doctor told me to get counseling to let out all the 'stuff', and that the cycling isn't the way to go... well... I disagree! ha! In Bintan, I could absolutely care less about the race... my heart was with my son who was really struggling.... In Thailand, things were finally pulling together and I enjoyed the racing and felt I could exhale a bit again.
I have lost a solid 10 pounds, weighing in at no more the 125, ..luckily, no longer borderline anemic, and recovered my strength from an 8 month period (no exaggeration, I was exhausted)....
Now that school is almost out (2 days) and I have let PTA go, I have had a chance to 'feel' the year... and its all coming out....tears... frustration.. adn I even let someone 'have it' (but she deserved it!)
Life isn't all peaches and cream... and my blog posts don't have to pretend they are. The truth is, during our journeys in life..... things go really right and things go not so smooth. I am grateful for what I have, the good and the bad, I know my situations and it is very easy to look around and NOT FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF, that isn't my intention... but it doesn't mean that certain things don't hurt.
Off to India... looking forward to some culture...heat... and escape!
Don't know how I will survive w/out my bike though!
2 comments:
Hi Tina, saw your comment on my blog and I'd love to know about when there are rides - I'm probably a little slower because my bike is very basic but I'd like to join in some time. Looks like you're in India at the moment but looking forward to hearing back when you return!
Mike
yeah...the last guy who said, "I am probably a little slow" leads the pack... I'll believe it when I see it! Don't worry, it isn't a bike show.. just good guys riding their hearts out. Some nice bikes, some, "wow, didn't know they still had those around" bikes...
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